How well can you hold water? I have found that some people who I’ve encountered find it hard to hold water or not tell secrets, while others find it difficult to cope when that water is spilled. If you know you can’t hold water, ask the person not to tell you anything. Common sense dictates you can’t share what you don’t know. You are probably keeping secrets of your own which can be just as difficult as keeping someone else’s secrets.  When you have the honor and privilege of being entrusted with holding water, it can be a blessing and a curse. When you trust a potential holder not to spill your water, you assume that holder will perceive any potential consequences of spilling the water and the damage it may cause to you and others. Regardless of what you have chosen to share, the fact that you want to share it all shows that you have a lot of trust in that holder.

When you enter into relationships of any kind, you have to realize that no matter how close you might be to another person, you cannot control anyone’s behavior but your own. Having control in any relationship means controlling your communication, controlling your behavior, and controlling your expectations of that relationship.  There’s a time and place for holding water. But before you agree to hold water for someone else or before you decide to do something that would require you to hold water of your own – think about the consequences. The secret often hurts, no question about it, but so does telling it.


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