Throwing Stones

Throwing Stones

I look at the skills of observation of others.  I also value my abilities in sharp perception and discernment.  Like everyone else, I try not to throw stones even as all of us live in glass houses.  Instead of throwing stones at others, I try to throw stones at myself.  By throwing stones at myself, I try to discover the cracks in my own glass house.  I exam the places where there are stress cracks, edge damages, and perform much needed improvement where I need to do some repair and remodeling.

Yet, it is evident the spirit of throwing stones is everywhere.  The shelf life of throwing stones is too long.  Society blames everyone but themselves when things don’t work to their advantage.  Yet no one is setting the tone for improvement.  Humans are governed by the mores and politics of the time.  The failure in this is never realizing when to throw stones and when to gather stones.

Recently, society has noticed a surge of throwing stones and it has become an art form which is nursed, fostered, and perfected.  Why are there those who constantly throw stones on the glass houses of others, without rationale and reasonableness, never consider the undeniable fact that they live in glass houses too? There is a reason.  They have an unnatural preoccupation with retaliation.  They undeniably believe in the ultimate goal of retaliation and upping the ante in escalation with throwing stones allows them to prove their magnified victimization for all to see.  

Another reason is narcissism.  Stone throwers have a tendency to group people into categories:  you are either for me or against me.  They believe in trust and loyalty to only them and there is never a distinction between the two. They demand, ask, or enforce these expectations, especially when there is a power differential in place.   There is a problem in this way of thinking.  This way of thinking can only endure as long as the power differential is in place.  Never do stone throwers consider and recognize the possibility that people have the right to make their own decisions about what is right and what is wrong.  

Yet, there is an unhealthy obsession for expecting trust and loyalty, being defiant, and showing up any alleged enemy and injustice, real and imagined. Stone throwers habitually have to dominate and rise above their adversaries no matter the personal or professional damage they create.  Rather than back down, there is a need to constantly breath new life into perceived slights and prolong them, instead of making the mature decision to move on no matter the cost.  When this doesn’t work, throwing stones becomes an automatic defensive response to use on any criticism leveled at them.

When confronted, stone throwers are never the problem; it’s always someone else who is the problem.  Stone throwers always offer inconsistent and intentional responses to their actions which they insist can be and will be corrected.  Society knows better.  Stone throwers are born to swim in shallow and salty waters; they swim in them every day and when caught, they drown in them. 

So what is the solution to throwing stones?  Society needs to remember they will always live in glass houses and if they throw stones, they should consider the person treating them for the cuts from flying glass may be the one they threw the stones at.

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Friend or a Foe?

Friend or a Foe?

If you are lucky, you have a friend who is there for you.  Most of the time, your friend helps you navigate through life’s troubled waters.  You create a unique bond with one another that no one can imagine or understand.  Time and distance could never diminish or destroy it.  But what about the friend who doesn’t have your best interests at heart?  What about the friend who feels they can wreak havoc, cause pain, and destroy relationships? What about the friend who feels anyone in their path is ripe for anger, criticism, and judgment?

What happened to being a friend who is open, honest, and trustworthy?  What happened to the code of friendship?  I know you who you are.  I see you.  You are the one who is always out for yourself.  You are the one who finds your niche in different ways being fair weathered.  You are the most important piece on the chessboard, but you are also the weakest.  You are the one who hurls unfounded accusations about everyone where no substantial evidence exists.  You are the one who chooses to stand on the sidelines while others engage in the game on the field.  You find this position easier for you because you can freely criticize and disparage other people’s actions with planned tactics and strategies.  You freely take advantage of everyone without concern or a thought for the fallout, especially at their vulnerable moments.  You’re only a friend when opportunity presents itself in the form of profit and pleasure.  You come out in the good times, but want to hide in the bad times.

The reality is time will move on and you will accept the inevitable.  You will realize not everyone has the same value systems as you do.  There are people who aren’t you who know how to treat others and that it is not easy to criticize or abandon those in need. You will realize you will need to take action and be a part of the solution and not part of the problem.  Be the person who is first to help and the last to judge.

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When Lying Becomes Truth

When Lying Becomes Truth

We have seen it and known it.  We have known liars are all around us.  We know this because directly and indirectly they have shown us and told us they exist.  On every level of society’s existence, there has been some unorthodox manipulation aimed at achieving common goals real and imagined.  This is why we should always question everything we are told and never take anything said at face value.  There needs to be a willingness to call everything seen and unseen into question and accept nothing less than an adequate explanation of the truth.

Yet, in this world we live in, we tend to believe the person who speaks to us.  The person who gravitates to us when our spirits are low and who come to us when we are at our weakest and vulnerable.  We want to believe their intent is to help us, but in reality, they want to engage in trickery.

What should society do?  What can society do?  Society needs to ask tough and direct questions and hold people accountable.  There are a variety questions that could be raised.  Many of these questions cannot be answered; however, the idea behind questioning is to provoke thought and get to the bottom of all of the confusion, contradictions and ignorance. A life of contradiction and short vague scenarios keep a framework of lies together and ensure everyone’s undue participation in the process.  Society is led to believe that you should forget conventional wisdom and live life in a trance.

For liars, any progress made toward truth is a source of anger and resentment.  A liar’s survival depends on the person who is so lost and afraid that they would believe anything and anyone at a moment’s hesitation.  Anyone choosing to ignore or show indifference to them exhibits denial and unfairness.

Throughout history, liars have benefited from the outward projection of their so called truth they created and deemed it normal.  When a liar’s normal becomes status quo and creates an establishment of what they deem is fact, it becomes a horrifying self-fulfilling prophecy of things to come.  A liar’s perception is the irony of those who still want to believe that truth and honor mean something.  Seating and eating at the same table which was promised at the beginning for all to partake from became unimaginable because it never had a chance to be a reality.

The bottom line is we all lie and we know that everyone is not going to tell the truth all the time.  However, when people constantly lie, we not only become dissatisfied with them, but we become dissatisfied with the things they represent.  As we lose faith in them and what they stand for, we lose faith in ourselves.

I would love to hear what you think about this issue.  Let me know in the comments.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making a Stand

Making a Stand

It is so easy to criticize, ostracize, and vilify  anyone not displaying conformity and making a political stand when everyone else is going through the motions with varying levels of conviction and hypocrisy. What are these righteous naysayers doing? Are they being supportive and involved in their area schools when a student sits out because they refuse to recite the Pledge of Allegiance?  Are they involved when children are being bullied for being different? Why do they continue to take a stoic stance when one burns the American Flag?  Are they doing enough to understand the motivation as to why refusing to stand during the National Anthem should not be considered a test of loyalty to a country and an exercise in insincerity? Why is affection for a country and those who made the ultimate sacrifice for it be confined to only a few minutes long rendition of a song or a recitation of allegiance? Is there anyone willing to positively address issues like that? And if there aren’t, what are the reasons why?

The truth is most people aren’t doing anything and not enough of anything to voice an opinion. Yet these same judgmental people have all the answers for what others should be doing and how they should do it. If more effort was put into standing up for others rather than evaluating others actions, this world would be a different place.

The social pressure to stand and to conform is so strong. Individual freedom is based on choice. Religion and expression freedoms are non-existent when you fail to guarantee freedom from coercion and remain silent to inequities. There is a quiet respect for someone who has the courage to take an unpopular stand, own it, and is willing to live with the consequences of their actions. That doesn’t mean you should agree with the method they used to make their stance.  You can’t use a negative stance to respond to negativity and call it a positive.  Use your name and platform to stand and raise positive awareness for an issue, especially if you know you have major influence.  When that platform is created, everyone should be able to analyze and discuss why the stance was made, why it was necessary, and what prompted the stance.  Make a bigger impact and donate time and money to raise awareness.  Don’t allow others the privilege of defining you by their standards and criteria before allowing you the right to raise your voice on an issue and succeed in bringing attention to it.

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The Price of Infamy

The Price of Infamy

In a world obsessed by wealth and celebrity, the infamous are emerging and becoming the perfect role models in traditional and untraditional ways. They epitomize a new wave of the famous who are determined to transform their fame into cold, hard cash.  Whatever happened to role models being measured by their talents and cultivated over a period of time from blood, sweat, and tears? Where is the role model who displayed style and grace in private and in public appearances?  Where is the role model who displayed a level of determination, perseverance, and resilience in the face of adversity that made them stand out in their given field?  Where is the role model that championed overcoming opposition, defying expectations, and remaining true to themselves?  Where is the role model who emphasized the right to be uncomfortable with life and face it head on? Where is the role model who displayed qualities that united people rather than divided them?

At one point in time, a role model was like a fine bottle of wine. You secluded, pampered and celebrated its aging to perfection.  Every once in a while you would put it on display and show the world its true essence before the big moment you uncorked it.  Nowadays, the fine bottle of wine has been replaced with poor quality alcohol. Society idolizes and obsesses over the infamous because they are famous.  They don’t display the mold of the old school role model who showed that having character meant presenting depth, feeling, and character flaws.  The new role model image is loud and clear:  you must be dominant and intimidating.  You must find ways to disrespect, insult, put down, and push boundaries.  You are above the law.  You are not accountable for you misdeeds.  You must never champion personal or professional integrity or be accused of going against the grain and having morals.

Please bring back the old school mentality.

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The Invisible Enemy

The Invisible Enemy

How can you defend yourself when you’re not sure what the enemy looks like? Common sense dictates that you can’t fight what you can’t see.  Like the boogeyman, the invisible enemy is universal and faceless who society can’t fight or overcome because he comes in a variety of forms and has a range of objectives. The trouble with the invisible enemy is he is elusive and is always within close proximity.

In reality, society always misjudges and underestimates the invisible enemy. Therefore, an invisible enemy will always be among them without anyone realizing it.  An ill-defined and mysterious enemy will never be isolated to a particular set of characteristics or environment. This is one reason why it’s so difficult to draw a beginning between the causes and effects of an invisible enemy’s behavior and the unpredictable destructive threat he might pose which makes tracking him nearly impossible.

Society tends be passive and only gravitates toward a problem when the enemy is transparent. The problem with an invisible enemy is you can’t see them, so it’s difficult to know how much of a threat an invisible enemy may be and how they might respond or react in a particular situation. There are different levels of the invisible enemy and because of insinuating circumstances, the levels may not be easily predictable and harder to detect. Society is beginning to find they need to be more proactive, vigilant and monitor all things which were taken for granted.

In order to overcome any enemy, society needs to conduct a balanced and effective political and psychological strategy to get a better understanding of the invisible enemy’s motivation so victory can be achieved over any battle. No longer must society rely only on strategies involving traditional styles of military warfare. The most aggressive and terrorizing battles are not the ones fought in faraway lands, but behind the scenes unseen in front of society every day.

I would love to hear what you think about this issue.  Let me know in the comments.

 

To Thine Own Self Be True

To Thine Own Self Be True

I have been taught as far back as I can remember that everyone on this earth is unique and there are certain characteristics each of us carries through this journey called life. Every person on this earth is unique; however, there is always one person related to us through family or related to us through our life’s events who tends to be the enforcer for personal and professional rules of engagement and wants every single person they know to be aware of it.

You know who you are. You live by a set of strict personal and professional rules and love to remind everyone about it whenever you possibly can. You are above reproach about everything. You are dismissive and monopolize conversations that you have no interest in. You have strong opinions about everything and actually believe you are trying to educate, enlighten and entrust your guidance on others based on your past experiences which no one wants. If there is a problem, you have the solution which you deliver without having all the facts. If there is a question, you have the answer which you deliver in a condescending and obnoxious manner.

Despite having all the solutions to everyone’s problems and knowing everything else, you have never found the solution as to why you feel the need to be something you are not. Are you insecure? Do you have a sense of being grandiose and superior? People will not see you as you want to be seen and they will not cater to that need unless they want to. You are an illusion of perfection. You are not the last self-proclaimed authority of what is right and wrong. You know everyone stands out from anyone else because they are unique and there is no one exactly like them. You do yourself a disservice always trying to be someone you’re not. Live your life not living up to someone else’s expectations, but your own.

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