Throwing Stones

Throwing Stones

I look at the skills of observation of others.  I also value my abilities in sharp perception and discernment.  Like everyone else, I try not to throw stones even as all of us live in glass houses.  Instead of throwing stones at others, I try to throw stones at myself.  By throwing stones at myself, I try to discover the cracks in my own glass house.  I exam the places where there are stress cracks, edge damages, and perform much needed improvement where I need to do some repair and remodeling.

Yet, it is evident the spirit of throwing stones is everywhere.  The shelf life of throwing stones is too long.  Society blames everyone but themselves when things don’t work to their advantage.  Yet no one is setting the tone for improvement.  Humans are governed by the mores and politics of the time.  The failure in this is never realizing when to throw stones and when to gather stones.

Recently, society has noticed a surge of throwing stones and it has become an art form which is nursed, fostered, and perfected.  Why are there those who constantly throw stones on the glass houses of others, without rationale and reasonableness, never consider the undeniable fact that they live in glass houses too? There is a reason.  They have an unnatural preoccupation with retaliation.  They undeniably believe in the ultimate goal of retaliation and upping the ante in escalation with throwing stones allows them to prove their magnified victimization for all to see.  

Another reason is narcissism.  Stone throwers have a tendency to group people into categories:  you are either for me or against me.  They believe in trust and loyalty to only them and there is never a distinction between the two. They demand, ask, or enforce these expectations, especially when there is a power differential in place.   There is a problem in this way of thinking.  This way of thinking can only endure as long as the power differential is in place.  Never do stone throwers consider and recognize the possibility that people have the right to make their own decisions about what is right and what is wrong.  

Yet, there is an unhealthy obsession for expecting trust and loyalty, being defiant, and showing up any alleged enemy and injustice, real and imagined. Stone throwers habitually have to dominate and rise above their adversaries no matter the personal or professional damage they create.  Rather than back down, there is a need to constantly breath new life into perceived slights and prolong them, instead of making the mature decision to move on no matter the cost.  When this doesn’t work, throwing stones becomes an automatic defensive response to use on any criticism leveled at them.

When confronted, stone throwers are never the problem; it’s always someone else who is the problem.  Stone throwers always offer inconsistent and intentional responses to their actions which they insist can be and will be corrected.  Society knows better.  Stone throwers are born to swim in shallow and salty waters; they swim in them every day and when caught, they drown in them. 

So what is the solution to throwing stones?  Society needs to remember they will always live in glass houses and if they throw stones, they should consider the person treating them for the cuts from flying glass may be the one they threw the stones at.

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Friend or a Foe?

Friend or a Foe?

If you are lucky, you have a friend who is there for you.  Most of the time, your friend helps you navigate through life’s troubled waters.  You create a unique bond with one another that no one can imagine or understand.  Time and distance could never diminish or destroy it.  But what about the friend who doesn’t have your best interests at heart?  What about the friend who feels they can wreak havoc, cause pain, and destroy relationships? What about the friend who feels anyone in their path is ripe for anger, criticism, and judgment?

What happened to being a friend who is open, honest, and trustworthy?  What happened to the code of friendship?  I know you who you are.  I see you.  You are the one who is always out for yourself.  You are the one who finds your niche in different ways being fair weathered.  You are the most important piece on the chessboard, but you are also the weakest.  You are the one who hurls unfounded accusations about everyone where no substantial evidence exists.  You are the one who chooses to stand on the sidelines while others engage in the game on the field.  You find this position easier for you because you can freely criticize and disparage other people’s actions with planned tactics and strategies.  You freely take advantage of everyone without concern or a thought for the fallout, especially at their vulnerable moments.  You’re only a friend when opportunity presents itself in the form of profit and pleasure.  You come out in the good times, but want to hide in the bad times.

The reality is time will move on and you will accept the inevitable.  You will realize not everyone has the same value systems as you do.  There are people who aren’t you who know how to treat others and that it is not easy to criticize or abandon those in need. You will realize you will need to take action and be a part of the solution and not part of the problem.  Be the person who is first to help and the last to judge.

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To Thine Own Self Be True

To Thine Own Self Be True

I have been taught as far back as I can remember that everyone on this earth is unique and there are certain characteristics each of us carries through this journey called life. Every person on this earth is unique; however, there is always one person related to us through family or related to us through our life’s events who tends to be the enforcer for personal and professional rules of engagement and wants every single person they know to be aware of it.

You know who you are. You live by a set of strict personal and professional rules and love to remind everyone about it whenever you possibly can. You are above reproach about everything. You are dismissive and monopolize conversations that you have no interest in. You have strong opinions about everything and actually believe you are trying to educate, enlighten and entrust your guidance on others based on your past experiences which no one wants. If there is a problem, you have the solution which you deliver without having all the facts. If there is a question, you have the answer which you deliver in a condescending and obnoxious manner.

Despite having all the solutions to everyone’s problems and knowing everything else, you have never found the solution as to why you feel the need to be something you are not. Are you insecure? Do you have a sense of being grandiose and superior? People will not see you as you want to be seen and they will not cater to that need unless they want to. You are an illusion of perfection. You are not the last self-proclaimed authority of what is right and wrong. You know everyone stands out from anyone else because they are unique and there is no one exactly like them. You do yourself a disservice always trying to be someone you’re not. Live your life not living up to someone else’s expectations, but your own.

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